How to Strengthen the Relationship Between Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law
The relationship between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law is not as bad as society has portrayed it. It is one of the best relationships where two women can truly understand each other’s struggles because only a woman can truly comprehend another woman's pain. Through this article, we will try to understand how to strengthen this relationship. The primary reason for conflicts between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law is the lack of mutual understanding. Society has never truly embraced this bond. However, if both women learn to adjust and understand each other, this relationship can become even stronger than that of a mother and daughter.
How Can a Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Understand Each Other?
Small misunderstandings often lead to major conflicts between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law. Over time, these minor issues grow into bigger problems, causing unrest in the home and straining relationships between the husband and his family. A mother, who carried her son in her womb for nine months and showered him with all her love, has dreams and expectations when he gets married. Conflicts arise due to misunderstandings on both sides, but if both women handle things maturely, disputes can be avoided altogether.
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Both Should Practice Patience
When tension arises at home, both the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should practice patience. Patience is a powerful tool that can help manage stress and eliminate negativity. If both women possess patience, no third person will be able to create misunderstandings between them. It is often observed that an outsider, who enjoys causing trouble, manipulates situations to instigate fights. Therefore, it is important to use one’s own intelligence rather than being influenced by others.
Additionally, some daughters-in-law frequently compare their in-laws' home with their parental home, which can lead to resentment and conflicts. Instead of constantly reminiscing about their maternal home, daughters-in-law should accept their marital home as their new family, treating it with love and respect. By doing so, they will gain more love and respect in return.
Special Tips for Mother-in-Laws
A mother-in-law should love her daughter-in-law even more than her own daughter. A daughter-in-law brings light and joy into the house, and in old age, it is often the daughter-in-law, not the daughter, who takes care of the family. If the daughter-in-law makes a mistake, instead of reacting with anger, the mother-in-law should gently correct her with love and understanding. She should remember that she too was once a daughter-in-law in this house. If she approaches the relationship with wisdom, there will never be conflicts. A woman can understand another woman’s struggles, so instead of imposing authority, a mother-in-law should treat her daughter-in-law with compassion and support.
Just like a plant needs time to adapt and grow in a new environment, a daughter-in-law also takes time to adjust to her new home. If she is given time and support, she will flourish and become a strong pillar of the family.
Important Advice for Daughters-in-Law
Never argue with your mother-in-law, even if she says something you don’t agree with.
If your mother-in-law asks you to do something, do it willingly without resistance.
Follow these two principles for at least twelve months. If a mistake is made during this time, restart the twelve-month count. This approach can help maintain peace and harmony in the household.
The primary conflict between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law is that both expect each other to behave in a certain way. A mother-in-law wants her daughter-in-law to treat her like a mother, but she herself is often reluctant to treat the daughter-in-law as her own daughter. Similarly, a daughter-in-law wants to be treated like a daughter but does not always give her mother-in-law the respect of a mother.
To build a strong relationship, the mother-in-law should overlook the daughter-in-law’s shortcomings and praise her in front of the family, while the daughter-in-law should do the same for her mother-in-law. Mutual respect and understanding can help them win the race of life together rather than competing against each other.
Among all the relationships in the in-laws' home, the bond with the husband’s mother is the most crucial. After all, a husband is the son of his mother, and his happiness often depends on a harmonious relationship between his wife and mother.
If a daughter-in-law wins the heart of her mother-in-law, she does not need to seek the blessings of any other deity, as in our culture, parents are considered as divine as God. If a husband’s mother is happy with her, she will naturally find peace and happiness in the family.
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is unique because both women come from different backgrounds and have different values. Unlike sibling relationships, where thoughts and upbringing are similar, this relationship requires conscious effort and compromise. However, women have been gifted with an extraordinary ability to nurture relationships. If a daughter-in-law can form strong friendships with strangers at school or college, winning over her husband’s mother is not an impossible task.
A mother-in-law should also recognize that just as she forgives her own daughter’s mistakes, she should also extend the same understanding to her daughter-in-law. Both women should give each other at least one year to adjust to their new roles. If they do so, their relationship will become a lifelong bond, and they may never feel the need for another friend.
A daughter-in-law should also be careful not to share personal family matters with her parents. Negative news spreads like wildfire, while positive news takes time to gain recognition. Once a family’s private matters become public, it is nearly impossible to clarify misunderstandings later. Hence, a wise daughter-in-law should refrain from discussing in-laws' affairs outside the home.
Final Words
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is precious. To make it successful, both women should use patience and understanding as their guiding principles. Just as students in a school make lifelong friends despite being strangers, a daughter-in-law should approach her new family with an open heart and a willingness to adjust.
"Do not be a sister-in-law, a co-sister, or a mother-in-law in relationships—just be a woman who understands another woman's pain."
If you found this article helpful, please share it with your friends. A single sentence from this article might help mend someone's relationship because only a woman can truly understand another woman's pain.
Thank you!
Posted by – Kiran
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